Citizen Horse

Married With Horses

Horse barns, boarding facilities, training facilities, and horse shows are filled with…women. Sure, in the Western horse world, and even outside of the United States, a large percentage of men make up the equestrian population, but in the US at Hunter, Jumper, Dressage, Eventing, and “pleasure” barns - women rule the roost.

The gender dichotomy split among American horse owners and riders is a whole different article, but what about those males peripherally involved in horses; the husbands, boyfriends, partners, or significant others?

On average, most of those guys could give a crap about horses. No interest at all.

Why is that?

Usually, most non-horse people don’t understand the huge financial and time commitment that comes with horseback riding. When a serious relationship begins, horses and riding comes up casually. Then there is the staple response from the non-horsey person, “Oh, yeah, I’ve ridden horses before”. Sure, Bub, what on a guided trail ride? Please! In the beginning, the interest shown by the (then) potential significant other is genuine but confused of the importance horses play in the woman’s life.

Most women don’t even bring a suitor to the barn until finances mix. Why bother? They won’t understand, they will be bored, and most importantly, the barn is sacred! Who wants to singe the barn with personal relationships that may come and go, when the horse is here to stay?

Once that relationship does end up being “serious” and “long-term”, most often, there still isn’t much of an interest from the non-horse half to get involved in the equestrian part of life. Financially, there must be some interest I would think; maybe even just the question, “Why is so much money poured into the horse every month?” Also, the time spent riding, at the barn, showing, taking lessons, and maybe even just talking about horses can cause jealously towards the horse.

Usually it’s just because the man doesn’t understand.

And the female-horse bond isn’t all that easy to explain, either. When someone asks, “Why do you ride horses?” I often have to think about it. Horses and riding are something that only another horse person and rider can fully comprehend. In all honesty, I think the majority of horse people use horses as therapy. It’s a great escape from the “real world”. Horseback riding is challenging no matter how long you have done it; and conquering that challenge is quite therapeutic. Not to mention the relationship you form with your equine friend - the level of communication involved in horseback riding is complex. And rewarding. And exciting.

I have seen many a women try to get their significant other involved with horses, but it never seems to work out. Think about it though, how intimidated would you be if your significant other was involved in an activity in which mere proximity to the subject brings danger. Horses freak people out, and as equestrians know, for good reason. Jumping right into being around horses can be scary, and for people that don’t know horses, suddenly standing by one (or many) can bring about high anxiety. Through no fault of their own, many a husband is most unwilling to submit themselves to situations in which their “woman” is totally in control and comfortable while their big, strong, manliness is taken into question. A good guy would find the woman’s prowess in the face of danger endearing, but when it comes to danger avoidance skills and confidence, many guys don’t want to feel insecure (even if they aren’t meatheads).

Then there’s the poop. I know, it seems silly, but think about it; horses crap a lot, they fart a lot too. For someone who hasn’t been on a farm before, out of the city, or just doesn’t have much experience with animals, the horse is a big hurdle. Having a significant other, whom maybe has never actually stepped in a pile of manure, realize these “apples” are really not that big of a deal, can be…well…a big deal. It’s funny, really, especially because with a sport/hobby dominated by women, horses are dirty and you probably won’t get more experience with excrement or mammalian gas than working with and around horses. That significant other with no horse experience is going to find the horse excrement portion intimidating, distracting, often gross, and sometimes, humorous.

Then of course there is the social aspect of horseback riding. Sometimes a guy doesn’t exactly fit into the barn’s social scene; especially when it is dominated by women who don’t involve their significant others. To the outsider, even if it’s just a friend (never-mind the boyfriend or hubby), a bunch of horse talk can make them feel out of place. Horse people speak their own language; there are words heard in a barn not found anywhere else, or at least not with the same meaning. Here are some examples of confusing horse vocabulary:

• Withers
• Colic
• Windpuff
• Proud Flesh
• Heaves
• Green
• Frog
• Equitation
• Founder
• Navicular
• Cribbing
• Dapples
• Fleabitten
• Irons
• Surcingle
• Lounging
• Chestnut (not the color!)

So we have established that horses are confusing, intimidating, dirty, and basically, foreign to an outsider. But why not invite your significant other into that world? Obviously, horses are important to you; wouldn’t you want your husband involved?

I ask that question a lot, and about 70% of the time, the response, is lead by big, strong, gut wrenching laughter. Oh yeah, I guess I forget that many people have dysfunctional relationships and the horse operates as a perfect escape from that terrible, annoying significant other. Or, in some of the more “hoity toity” barns, the women don’t understand WHY they would have their husbands involved in horses beyond, well, paying for them.

“That’s just silly; of course he is interested in my horseback riding. Why do you think he just paid $125,000 for my new horse?”

True, some husbands finance their wife’s horse hobby to keep them out of their hair.

Occasionally, you might run into a husband who rides. What? Yeah, I mean, well, of course he got roped (guilted) into getting a horse all for himself. You know, so they could spend more quality time with each other. The husband had gone out to the barn twice a week, the wife wanted more, his “excuse” was that if he had his own horse it would be more fun. Well, happy birthday! He got a horse. “Gulp”, yep now he either has to come clean or commit to spending lots of time out at the barn. Rarely does that work for the best.

Then there are married women who’s spouses also have a time consuming hobby as well, so they just each do their own things. Coordinate the barn with his hobby time. This makes sense, but wouldn’t important moments in each persons’ “hobby” be a time of participation? Maybe it’s the first horse show, or the first time jumping, or the new horse; how about having the husband/boyfriend around at least for observance?

Sometimes a horse woman might have the casual, horse show husband. The ones that show up at the horse shows only to have their asses kissed by the trainers (knowing they are an influential part of the horse bill approval process). Of course they don’t want to help, and there’s a good chance they won’t even figure out what ring their wife is riding in. But the horse shows brings beer, wine, and food. Plus a chance to mingle with other horse show husbands who could care less about the sport!

And what about the husbands of Hunter riders who really like to come to the shows and watch the Jumpers, but can barely keep their eyes open for the hunter round? What happens then? To save her from once again trying to explain the “point” of the Hunter class and why the horses just go around in circles, the husband is just no longer invited.

I wonder about the actual numbers of involved horseback rider second-halves who don’t ride, but actually enjoy being out at the barn and especially love watching their wives ride. I have seen very few men who’ve embraced the horse and barn through the passion of their wives, and the ones I have seen are very cool.

The most recent horse-husband I met actually got his wife into horses over 40 years ago. She used to ride Hunter/Jumper; because of her age, she has moved into Dressage, though not competitive. He hasn’t missed one of her lessons (twice a week) since 1965 and genuinely loves to watch his wife ride. How amazing is that? Dedication, from both the wife as a rider and the husband as a fantastic supporter.

It sure would be nice to see more significant others on the sidelines cheering their partners on in the ring. Or some just even showing up to watch a hack.

Spouses have a lot to learn from each other when delving into the passions and goals of their partner. Being married with horses is an interesting predicament: horses are such strange territory for most people, and most often, even the bonds of marriage sit out of this passionate hobby, sport, or profession.

And as equestrians, we all know horseback riding, in any capacity, is unique.

Thing is, for both equestrian, spouse, and sometimes, even the animal, being married with horses is an equally unique experience as well.

Tags: finance, husband

Posted in horse people | 3 Comments »

Evaporation Explained

apparently, the animal's instincts toward seeking a cooling shower are also misguided

Recently, a woman with many, MANY years of horse experience told me I shouldn’t turn my horse outside after a bath because “water is an insulator and will keep them hot.”

I never thought I would question my own logic when it came to the cooling effects of evaporation, but the ridiculousness of the statement convinced me I was suffering from hearing dyslexia.

Me: I’m sorry, what was that?
Woman: I can’t believe you do that…you know water is an insulator.

For the better part of two decades, this woman has been considered a horse “professional”.

“You know those [post ride baths] are why he’s loosing weight.”

I was dumbfounded. Had this woman never played in the lawn sprinkler as a young child? Had this woman never taken part in a rogue, neighborhood fire hydrant opening? Had she never taken a dip in a pool on a 90 degree Fahrenheit day?

Was I really going to have to explain the properties of evaporation to a woman who in the past has been paid to train and care for horses?

Answer: No. I say this a lot, and it’s especially true for the horse world, but you can’t reason with crazy people. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard a lot of crazy things from crazy horse people, but this was just stupid.

I stood there dumbfounded. I must have looked like a moron. After a ride and cool down in the heat of summer, I’ve never deviated from a well-deserved bath, the sweat scrape, a nice stall lunch, and turnout back to the pasture. Who was this horse woman and what planet did she come from?

She continued.
Woman: You know the water is why he’s loosing weight.

!!!

Yes, weight loss has been a problem recently; factors I had seen contributing were the new terrible hay, the heavy workload, and the fact the barn managers were having 8 year old kids campers feeding breakfast and dinner. In more ways than one, a barn move has been a few months overdue.

And now that super-triple-crazies were stalking my wash stall practices, I began thinking my problems at this barn had multiplied to the level only full-time security guards could handle.

Where has common sense gone!?

Me: Actually, evaporation works to cool the body.”

She argued with me.

As my gaze-of-opposite-amazement grew, I started making a b-line for the car. Safety. I needed safety. I knew I needed to leave, quickly. There was nothing for me to do here.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I tried to fathom she had read, somewhere, that water was an insulator, PERIOD. But even after that leap, how could one fail to understand the capacity of water insulation and how it relates to a horse being wet?

Factoring in semantics, water IS an insulator of temperature, meaning, water requires high amounts of heat energy to raise said temperature.

However, water being seen as an insulator is a whole different story. How does one not understand the cooling effects of water droplets in relation to heat transfer and the state change from liquid to gas? I assumed this woman must never shower, ever. She must have never seen a coach assailed by his winning team with a bucket of cooled sports drink. She must of never seen a dog shiver in the rain. She must have never visited a desert.

One thing is for sure; she must be stopped. She must be stopped from owning or caring for animals. She must be stopped, at least, from ever talking to me again.

Needless to say, I left the barn, completely beside myself.

To anyone else confused about the cooling powers of water, lets talk 3rd grade science.

Water requires high energy/heat for evaporation, and evaporation is inversely related to cooling of ambient temperature. When ambient temperature approaches body temperature, the rate of heat loss slows to the point that very little heat can be removed from the body by any of these means. That’s when evaporation becomes important. Ergo wet horse.

One way to cool a horse in a hurry is to soak a horse with cold water. First, the cold water comes in direct contact with the skin, heat is added to the water by conduction (from body temperature) accomplishing some cooling; a temperature difference of, say 95°F skin temperature relative to 55°F water temperature being the driving force. But more importantly, some water will be evaporated from the skin surface, removing over 1000 BTUs for every pound of water evaporated. Increasing air movement with a fan or wind speeds heat loss from the combination of evaporation and convection.

So, we now understand evaporation does happen when a horse is wet AND evaporation is a cooling mechanism.

Phew – I thought I was totally loosing my mind.

Tags: bath, crazy

Posted in horse care, horse people | 4 Comments »

What Does Your Horse Say About You?

Always testing authority. Severe ADD at times. Talented but not always focused. Enjoys being in control. Doesn’t always play well with others. Kind. Respectful.

That is the description of one of my horses of 11 years, and his personality almost mirrors mine.

I can say that goes for every horse that has been mine. Not horses I’ve owned per’ se, but horses that were mine; we had a lot in common. Were these horses a reflection of me? Did I create their similar personalities, or simply did I find a good match working with a like personality?

It’s funny, but true, you can tell a lot about a person by getting to know their horse.

Think about it.

A horse pins his ears until eye contact is made, then the ears go forward. The owner happens to be a behind-the-back talker, but always has nothing but kind words to your face.

A horse is calm but aloof. Very gentle, does what’s asked of him, basically has zero athletic skill. Couldn’t care less about treats, almost wooden while being groomed. Owner is sweet lady in her 50’s. Can’t ride to save her life, doesn’t care. She is also nice a cordial, but somewhat callus. Her and the horse get along quite well, and though there are lots of petting, brushing, and sweet talk, their shared affection is non-existent.

Then there is the insecure horse, not spooky, just a little needy; always looking for reassurance that they are doing a good job. They don’t take well to criticism and are often easily discouraged. The owner also is soft spoken, always trying to please, but under the slightest hint of anything negative, they crumble.

How about a spooky horse, not genuine spooky, just a horse looking for attention and always making a big deal out of everything. Often mistaken with being sensitive, they aren’t, they just don’t listen very well, take a long time to learn, and are easily distracted by the possibility of something better happening. The owner, often a hypochondriac horse owner, wants everyone to pay attention to them, their problems, and their news; sometimes going so far as making up interesting things about their lives just so they can be in the spotlight of the conversation, even if for only 5 minutes.

Or, a genuinely spooky horse scared of anything new, always waiting for something bad to happen. If a jump moves from the middle of the ring to the corner, it must mean a monster is playing tricks and waiting in the shadows just to eat them. The horse is nervous, untrusting, and insecure about themselves, their environment, and everyone they meet, is very clingy to their own kind, often magnetized by the leader of the herd, even if they are not treated kindly. The owner is also untrusting and assumes there is always an ongoing elaborate scheme to set them up for failure. Scared to try new things and absolutely unable to handle change of any kind, this person lives by routine and any deviation could ruin their whole year. Generally in and out of abusive relationships both with significant others and close friends, they are drawn to outspoken, strong people who often take advantage of their weakness (e.g. trainers).

And think of the dud, the horse that doesn’t have much personality or talent, lacks interest in much of anything, is a slow learner because of limited intelligence, and, lack of motivation. This is a horse that would do incredibly well with clicker training, given focus, purpose, and simple motivational tasks to almost learn a personality. Then there’s the owner, a young gal without much genuine personality of her own, is often fake, rarely motivated, and is sometimes a know-it-all purely because they’re keenly aware of true talent and skill shortfalls. Professionally, they usually do freelance work, or maybe volunteer, you know, for the proof of purpose.

Any of those hit home? ‘Twas not my intention.

But with most animals, it’s true they’re windows into what the person is like. Think people about with ill-behaved dogs, schizophrenic cats, or pot-bellied pigs; how many parallels between human and animal can you draw?

Horses can have so many different personality traits that mirror many owners. Sometimes I think people actually buy horses with similar personalities unconsciously, and other times I think the horse picks up on traits of the owner. Or are seeing these parallels merely a work of fiction; an unconscious desire within the observer to draw connections and links?

Who knows for sure, but it sure is funny to guess what a person is like just by getting to know their horse. You do it too. How many times has your prediction been right?

And maybe more interestingly, what does your horse tell people about you?

Tags: equestrian

Posted in horse people | 3 Comments »

Horse Boarding Across America

American horse regions are more different than similar.

Hunter/Jumper horse care pressures and priorities take various shapes across America. I have lived in many states around the country and have always found the horse boarding, training, and showing communities so very different. Here are my observations:

Upper Midwest Horse World (Illinois & Wisconsin Vicinity)

Boarding here is straightforward. Priorities are very strange. The cost of board is relative to the amenities (indoor arena size and heat). Oddly, location doesn’t play much into the cost. Even if a barn is close in to a metro area, if they don’t have specific amenities or facilities, or a big show clientele, the cost of board is generally less.

Trainers here have very specific goals (or call them requirements). A shows, Open shows, no shows. Most of the time, you gotta fit within their regimen or else.

Big emphasis on coolness is the Midwest. Big thought that good riders are made by fancy tack. No, not just fancy tack, trendy, expensive tack. It’s gotta be an $800, brand new Edgewood bridle or the trendy saddle of the times (I think that’s Antares right now). One obviously can’t have that cool of a jumper if one doesn’t have cool jumper boots or the figure eight noseband. In the Midwest, “great” riders are not made by skill, talent, drive, or even major riding accomplishments (such as winning in Florida), it’s really about how cool you look.

Texas

Texas is a country onto itself, and though there is much to deservedly hate about Texas, they have a pretty well rounded, and large, Hunter/Jumper community. In Texas, there are many different boarding options depending on budget, and with trainers and barn, there is room for all different goals and budgets.

Texas, not just for cowboys or Western riding, has some really nice Hunter/Jumper barns. They don’t always LOOK that nice, in fact, some may even look quite scary, but overall the people and horses are more reflective of the actual Hunter/Jumper “quality” of the region.

Atmosphere is barn dependent. Super snobby, gossipy barns aren’t necessarily the bigger A show barns. Lots of room for the super laid back, do whatever, wear whatever, look however rider, and those aren’t even the backyard, Open show barns. When it comes to riding horses in Texas, there are lots of choices that don’t mean sacrificing quality for sanity.

So, good for Texas.

That being said, I hate Texas. Don’t move there.

The Rocky Mountains, or basically, Colorado

One of the most interesting areas of the American horse world. Actually more “cowboy” than Texas, it is also more laid back than anywhere else I have been.

The show community is unusually laid back with a very, very informal air. More of an emphasis on riding, having fun, and reaching goals than material objects, who you know, and talking bulls**t. Most importantly, even the well-to-do’s didn’t act as such and were always very respectful and helpful to those who weren’t.

That’s not to say there isn’t politics, backstabbing, and gossiping in Colorado. I mean, come on, we’re talking American women in the horse industry, right? But in Colorado, the great thing is one CAN actually stay out of snarky environments, where in many other areas it’s unavoidable on some levels.

One Rocky Mountain caveat though; lots of spoiled rotten California girls sent to Boulder for school with their “Colorado” horse. Yeah, I said “Colorado” horse. While not every one of these girls is intolerable, most of ‘em are not horse people, and more importantly, not riders. Simply the California influx into Colorado are good at sitting atop well schooled, very nice horses. Their numbers are growing exponentially.

All in all, the Rockies are a great place to ride and show horses. Outside of the West Coast transplants, the Colorado riding community is definitely a draw, but the drive to the barn is an absolute chore.

Pacific Northwest

Saddest state of American horse world. Completely divided quality, care, facilities, and amenities. No such thing as middle ground. Lots of money in hoity-toity A show barns, also lot’s of scary, backyard places. Middle places trade off amenities. 40 acres of great turnout, no ring. Huge indoor, terrible footing, scary turnout. Wonderful outdoor (six months a year), 80′x40′ indoor “arena”, no turnout.

Atmosphere in any case is completely intolerable.

Maybe it’s the influx of California blood. Yes, that is a huge negative. Even more-so than Colorado, The Pacific Northwest houses tons of spoiled California girls who suddenly aren’t in California anymore.

It rains a lot in this area, and older barns have not held up well. The strangest thing about the American Pacific Northwest is the amount of horses; they’re everywhere. Barns are everywhere, but, the knowledge is questionable at best. This poses a problem when you don’t mind being at a barn that isn’t “pretty”, the care isn’t all that pretty either. Not a good mix.

Can’t emphasize how much there is no middle ground in this region. You either are at THE Hunter/Jumper barn where you and your horse are only measured by your monthly budget (which better be large), or you are at a sh**hole.

New England Horse World

When I think of the east coast, I think HUNTER JUMPER CAPITAL USA! Barns here are very established, very limited new construction. Also like the Pacific Northwest, barns between A show crazy and backyard boarding are almost non-existent, but horse care and knowledge is much better.

Most all horse people in New England are nice, straightforward, and to the point (Citizen Horse doth appreciate highly!)

I see a lot of lower level Hunters with a bit of an uppity-tude. But generally, New England barns seem to lack a lot of personality, not in a bad way. There’s no air of anything in particular at most barns. The New England atmosphere is simple and uncomplicated, much like the people. There are horses, and barns, and people, and riders. Very little B.S. in this area.

Also, more part-time riders in New England; more leased horses.

Also, there is a FANTASTIC vet in Vermont. Lorie alone could make New England rule, but for the most part, the no-nonsense nature of the North East leaves it tops on my list.

As I said before, I’ve lived all over the place and shown competitively in even more spots. Based on my own personal observations on American horse boarding, showing, training, and environments across the country, your mileage may vary.

That’s YMMV in “intertube” speak.

Tags: equestrian

Posted in boarding, horse care, horse people, training | 4 Comments »

Horse Veterinarians: New School vs Old School

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Tags: equine, lameness, medicine, vet, veterinarian, veterinary

Posted in horse care, horse people | 3 Comments »

Horse Psychics

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Tags: communicator, psychic, voodoo

Posted in horse care, horse people | 16 Comments »

Little Girls Love Horses

a little girl embraces her pony

Fact: Little Girls Love Horses.

Almost every girl in the world has dreamed of owning a horse. Some, perhaps, may have simply dreamed of brushing a horse.

Most girls, by and large, are horse crazy at one point or another.

Why then don’t more little girls have the opportunity to get involved with horses?

Finances
From a financial standpoint, horses are one of the WORST hobbies a little girl could get involved with. Horses and ponies aren’t cheap to buy, or lease. Add board, vet bills, farrier care, riding gear, lessons; then, once they start, the girls are only going to get better, get more involved, possibly get competitive (horse shows can be VERY expensive), and need even more gear.

Geography
For girls living in cities or metropolitan areas, it may seem impossible to get a little girl into horses.
Most, if not all major cities, have horse farms in the near vicinity, some even within city limits. However, “driving to the farm” no doubt could be a chore, and for some, nearly impossible.

Knowledge
People are unfamiliar with horses on a whole. Though horse association is common, horses, to the general public, remain mysterious to most US citizens. For the average America, “horses” equals:

a. the Kentucky Derby
b. the trail ride they went on at summer camp, or
c. the things that poop in front of ole’ timey “anniversary night” carriages

Horses are big, horses are strong, and because of Chrisopher Reeves, everyone knows horses can break your neck. And they poop.

–

So, to recap, horses are costly, difficult, and dangerous.

Ever met a girl without any hobbies?

Little girls need to scrub water buckets.

Though barriers to horse entry are all valid concerns, getting young girls into horses offers them opportunities to create important and meaningful responsibilities before boys, parties, and other influences begin encroaching on their lives.

Why do little girls love horses in the first place?
Horses are big. Horses are beautiful. Horses can make great friends.

Horses are magical.

Horses are very empowering. Riding horses teaches girls to be natural leaders in societies where many stimulus shout the opposite. Horses require a “take charge” attitude from the rider. Horses need riders to stand up, take control, and be outspoken. Horses require character and confidence, and for a little girl, horses are the anti-timid medicine they crave.

Additionally, horses allow girls unique competitive experiences. Horse and rider are a TEAM. This team bond between horse and rider is one that is special, thoughtful, fulfilling, and in more ways that it isn’t, SAFE. And though horse and rider are a team, the rider is in charge. The rider, in her ability to pilot, communicate, and command is responsible for the team’s performance. With just proper training, horse riding is a very skilled activity little girls can do ALL BY THEMSELVES. Horse riding takes confidence, and it builds confidence.

Horseback riding is also one of only two Olympic sports that men and women compete side by side. Although women and girls dominate the lower levels of horseback riding, the upper levels, and especially, international levels of equestrian sports are split even between men and women.

Learning to fail and learning from failure is also an important part of horseback riding. Little girls often have a fear of failure that seems to be somewhat built in to their being. Learning how to ride horses requires failure, struggles, and mistakes. Overcoming fears, mistakes, and failures takes patience and determination. Little girls will learn that with time, great things DO happen.

Horses are expensive, and they strike fear in the hearts of protective parents. Ever met a girl without any hobbies?

Horses bring another important quality to a young girl, individuality, which is sometimes so scarce in a suburban landscape. Often times, young girls are trying to figure out who they are, what they stand for, how they think, how they work, and how they act. So many young girls aren’t able to effectively express themselves, and with the big group activities that EVERYONE else participating in, how can a young girl feel like she stands out from the crowd?

Horseback riding not only gives a little girl the ability to be herself, it allows her to figure herself out in so many ways. She doesn’t have to dress like the other 40 soccer players; she doesn’t have to act like the other group of girls who are all doing the same thing, without any true passion for what they are doing. Following the pack is something that seems almost necessary for most young girls. Brownies, Girl Scouts, and softball are not only giant group activities, they are also activities that require conformity. With team sports, or other group think activities, no one really stands out, and no one is really different. Is that a good message to be sending any young person?

Whether on the ground or in the saddle, horse piloting takes a charm, a style. And to everyone, their horse piloting is unique. And sure, in sects (and albeit highly touted, pressure filled sects), horse riding too can become about conformity (big horse shows, Hunters, snooty barns), but unmolested, horsemanship is sheer freedom (and to the adults, isn’t it sad how the word ‘freedom’ has become molested over the last eight years?).

Horses invoke freedom, strength, and confidence, naturally.

The most important path to enriching a little girl’s life with horses is through her teenage years. With financial and emotional support, if a girl can get into horses early and be encouraged to stay with it, outside, recreational activities that could end up causing real problems in her life fade to the background.

Most teenage girls I knew who rode horses weren’t interested in boys (at least not to the degree of non-horse teenage girls) weren’t interested in parties, drinking, drugs, and other activities that are often a result of boredom. Healthy curiosity and experimentation was natural, but horses always came first, and personal, responsible decisions were made because of horses. “I can’t go to that party because I have a horse show that weekend,” or “I can’t sneak out and go drinking with my friends because I have an early lesson.” Horses are a huge positive distraction when there are plenty of negative distractions constantly bombarding the teenage girl.

Finding the right barn with other children around is important, not so much for interaction, but for the general environment. Kids also need to be at barns that require them to work. Barns filled with $250,000 ponies (and their associated parents) negate almost all aspects of hard work, determination, and self reliance that go along with young girls and horsemanship.

Little girls need to scrub water buckets.

As far as disciplines go, I would always suggest young kids start out at hunter/jumper barns. Equitation and Hunters lessons require massive amounts of discipline otherwise lacking from say, Eventing (or barrel racing [shudder]). I have seen a lot of kids do well with Dressage, but Dressage may well be too tedious for the young rider.

To the young girl, horses are magical. Go get her some riding lessons.

Having a passion for something special is an important part of life. If a little girl has a spark of interest in horses, why not give her the ability to find out if it is a true passion for her? Not enough young people today have enough true passion or motivation. Lacking interests leads to boredom, and putting a child into other sports just to pass the time doesn’t enrich their lives. Not to get all “children are our future”, but happy, passionate, motivated, confident, and positive adults have head start on the rest of the world if they start out as happy, passionate, motivated, confident, and positive children.

And though barriers to horse entry are real and numerous, add up those team sports trophy pools, gymnastics classes, swim parties, and softball tournaments: think there is some monetary and time commitment room in there? After all, we know most young girls are horse crazy, but how many five year olds are screaming for the chance to play field hockey?

If you know a young girl, anywhere, go buy her a helmet and some horseback riding lessons at your nearest English barn.

Tags: girls, hunters, ponies

Posted in horse people | 2 Comments »

Are Horse Shows Right For You?

Citizen Horse asks the question, are horse shows right for you?

Too many times I have been at a horse show and witnessed the unhappy horse shower. Sometimes it’s the obvious outbursts like “Why do I do this?” or “I hate showing” or “This is a waste of money!” that tip me off to the unhappy horse competitor. There are then the more subliminal signs of horse show unhappiness; crying, nervousness, withdrawal from the others in the barn, over quietness, scratching classes, anger, timidness, and general amplified horse-person craziness.

Starting with the hunter/jumper A show circuit, these horse shows are not cheap. Whether the horse show is near by or many states away, an A horse show is a huge financial investment. Based on pure finances alone, one has to ask, are horse shows worth it?

Depending on riding goals, financial circumstances, and a horse’s ability, whether or not to compete at horse shows can be easily determined. But to start, we must figure out how you ended up showing in the first place.

Great riding can be achieved without ever stepping foot in the show ring.

If you are riding huntseat (hunter/jumper), most likely you are at a hunter/jumper barn and have a hunter/jumper trainer. If you are considering showing, or are currently showing, I’m sure many, if not most, of the other boarders or barn clients are also showing. Admittedly, a trainer doesn’t make money off of board. A trainer makes a living solely on training, teaching, and showing. This puts pressure on clients and boarders to participate in a training and showing program. If you are at a barn that requires participating in horse shows and training (and many do), you must understand you’ve been directly pressured into showing by the trainer’s need for income - consider this when you think about your showing aspirations.

But before we talk about horse show goals, lets talk about goals as a rider. Whether you want to perfect your ability to navigate a course, get all your distances to the fences, jump bigger fences, or just be a more effective rider, you must understand that showing does not get you to these goals. Horse showing also does not allow you to prove those riding goals. Any of the above listed goals can be met at home; horse show competitions are not the only way to attain. You can achieve great riding without ever stepping foot in the show ring. But, if your goal as a rider is to do any or all of those things at a horse show, that’s a different story. If your goal as a rider is to win classes, divisions, or move up from long stirrup to the adult amateur, then a horse show is your platform.

Make sure horse show goals are YOUR goal and not your trainer’s goal. Moving up in divisions, especially in the hunter ring, is subjective. First, the horse you ride is more of an indicator of what division you ride in. The long stirrup division to the adult amateur division is only dependent on your ability to pilot your horse through a bigger course confidently, or your horse’s ability to navigate you through a bigger course without you being scared. Both of those hunter objectives can be completed at home.

In the jumper ring, goals are a little different. At home, you can perfect your course navigating, distances, the size of jumps, and rider effectiveness. But, the jumper ring at a horse show will definitely press you a little harder. You are riding against the clock, without pulling any rails, all while jumping a course you have not schooled over. The jumper ring can actually push you to become a more effective rider. Competing in jumpers gives you a lot to think about outside of just you and your horse.

Make sure horse show goals are YOUR goal and not your trainer’s goal.

But, you can still reach goals at home if you like the jumpers. Your goals just can’t be jump an ‘Open Jumper’ course clean and within the time, because, no matter what, at a show, it is more difficult. Show courses will be more challenging, the time is going to be a crucial indicator of your success with that course, and of course, your horse will be a totally different ride in the show ring than at home. At home though, you can absolutely set your goal to be, say: Jump a 4’9” course clean. This is an attainable riding goal at home.

Maybe you have been jumping 3’ for a while and both you and your horse are ready to jump a little bigger. That can absolutely be done at home. You will not prove that you can jump 3’3” any better at a horse show than you will at home.

Maybe the nervousness you get at a horse show is something you want to overcome. If that is your goal, then the show ring is the only place to work on that. You have to be honest with yourself about your ability to achieve this goal. Some people never loose that nervousness. Unless you own 3-5 horses, take all 3-5 horses to every horse show, and show all of them in several divisions, you are most likely not showing enough to completely eliminate those horse show nerves!

If you completely enjoy riding your horse, jumping your horse, and improving your riding skills, why do you go to horse shows? Many amateurs end up so frustrated at the end of a long, very long horse show day, not to mention week, or weeks! If you aren’t having fun, then don’t compete at horse shows. If you just aren’t having fun because you aren’t winning, that is a completely different story. If you are ONLY showing to win, you shouldn’t be showing. Winning-Only showers are people who purchase made, push-button horses, have little to no true skill or talent, and they have gobs of money.

It is completely unrealistic to be unhappy to lose at a horse show. You are going to lose, you will lose often. In the hunter ring, most of the time, it will make no sense whether you win or lose. But, in the jumper ring, if you lose, smile! Some of the best horse shows I have been to include my all time losing rides. I learned more in each one of those losing rides than every jumper class I have won put together. Whether it was rider error, green horse brain fart, or just a bad horse day, I learned how to ride better when I lost. Any jumper class I won, as fun as it was, I didn’t take all that much out of the show ring with me. Sure, it’s an expensive way to learn, but one of the best ways to learn!

You will not prove that you can jump 3’3” any better at a horse show than you will at home.

Showing should be fun, win or lose, and if it isn’t, you shouldn’t be showing. If your trainer pressures you to show, find a new trainer; they don’t all require showing, and not all hunter/jumper trainers snub you if you don’t show.

On the financial side, if your goal is to show and you don’t have the money to show; you work hard. You figure out a budget, you figure out how much you can afford. If your goal is the A shows, see if there is anything you can work off. If you aren’t at a barn that can give you that, find another barn. There are cheaper barns out there with good trainers. Although, if you are riding hunters and you don’t have a “known” trainer, there is a good chance you won’t pin very well. For jumpers, you’re more likely to find a trainer that don’t cost a fortune. But there are a lot of bad trainers out there, and even some of those cost a fortune. If your goal is to make it to an A show, there is a way, just figure it out.

Some may find themselves at a big, show required barn (the kind that make you sell your horse because THEY say you need a new horse). Don’t get sucked into this big show barn money game. You should ONLY sell your horse, or consider a new horse, if your abilities have out-grown your current mount or if your current mount has soundness issues that don’t fit into your riding goals. Don’t get bullied into providing commission to these trainers and barns.

As an alternative, B rated horse shows, local, or open shows can provide an ample amount of classes to participate in, and the cost is substantially less. If you are looking for bigger jumper classes, I don’t think a B show would qualify. But, if you are looking to work on your nerves, B horse shows are a cheaper alternative. B shows hold a much more laid back atmosphere, and they are CHEAP. For green horses or riders, B shows are a great economical tool.

In the world of dressage, showing is a good way to gauge you and your horse’s progress. In my experience, you walk away from a dressage show with some constructive feedback (maybe not EVERY dressage show). With that feedback, you can work on area’s you and your horse are weak and keep up the good work on the area’s you and your horse are excelling. But again, horse shows aren’t the only way to prove your dressage skills. You can accomplish dressage performance at home, you can execute tests, you can add movements, and you can always, ALWAYS improve. But besides your trainer, your ability to gauge you and your horse’s performance is difficult. Again, depending on your goals, a horse show may or may not be the answer for you.

Horse shows are expensive, stressful, full of ups and downs, and most importantly, they are often times VERY political. You must really ask yourself if it is worth it. You should never show for someone else’s goals; you should always have fun and be working towards improving your riding and you and your horse’s communication. If you are showing only for the horse “community” experience, leave your show barn and go find a laid back place. Ostensibly, there will always be horse show snobs that just don’t feel “cool” unless they can hang out in their barn’s decorated area, but don’t get sucked in on “being the non-showing outsider”.

Horse shows should be fun, win or lose, and if they aren’t, don’t show! If you can experience and reach your riding goals outside of showing, then why show?

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SEE RELATED CITIZEN HORSE ARTICLES:
- Hunters, Not a Sport
- Dressage Queens
- Sport Horse Breeding Chapter 1: The Mare

Tags: competitions, horse shows, politics

Posted in horse people | 3 Comments »

The Hypochondriac Horse Owner

crazy horse people are way crazier than normal crazy people

You know you have seen them. You have dealt with them. And you have always pitied the poor horse owned by them.

The vet is out at the barn again, for the same grey mare that always looks healthy and happy, but is ailing from some serious condition. You wonder why the vet doesn’t just tell the person to get a second opinion. Yet, you realize you have actually seen more than one vet looking at the horse.

There is always a sob story: “She just isn’t feeling good, I think its allergies.” The allergy drop is always a good one for the hypochondriac horse owner because no one can REALLY dispute it. That is, besides the vet, but no one knows what the vet actually told this person. The worst part is, this person REALLY needs you to feel her pain, or her poor horse’s pain. The sympathy tends to feed the hypochondriac horse owner. It’s the attention they get.

The allergy drop is always a good one for the hypochondriac horse owner because no one can REALLY dispute it.

Hypochondriac Horse Owners are like predators and wait to pounce until another boarder arrives. They have been waiting for an hour for another person to show up at the barn. They get all tacked up with you and get on shortly before you.

You enter the ring and it starts:

“She doesn’t feel right today. I think it’s her back, maybe her hip. I don’t think she is lame, but she doesn’t have the usual energy at the walk.”

Even though you just want to ride, you feel bad for her because you know what its like not to be able to. She asks you to watch the horse go. You do, and you don’t see anything wrong. You tell her this and it seems to amplify her concern….somehow. Because if you don’t see it and she feels it, “it must be a very deep tissue injury”.

A week later, you ask her about the “deep tissue injury” and she almost blows it off, but now there is some “dermatitis” that has made her horse unable to ride. You think to yourself, “What? Dermatitis?” The vet pulls in again. The vet barely looks at the horse and is writing something down, hands it to the person and drives off. “Yes! She needs to bathe her twice a day for a week.”

Now you get to hear that looooong drawn out story. You don’t even care anymore.

Hint: Don’t care and don’t feel bad not caring. If you ignore her and if everyone else does the same thing….suddenly….the horse will actually have fewer ailments. If this person does not get rewarded they will act out less. Although, there are the ones who are gratified by the attention of the vet; whom they are paying.

You think to yourself, “What? Dermatitis?” The vet pulls in again…

If you are a hypochondriac horse owner, ask yourself these two questions:

1.) Are you afraid of your horse and just coming up with excuses to not ride?
2.) Do you need to feel important at the barn, and is this your only way to spark up conversation?

If this is you, THE HYPOCHONDRIAC HORSE OWNER, please do everyone else a favor (including your horse) and:

A. OPENLY ADMIT you are scared of your horse
B. SHUT UP and stop bothering other people at the barn
C. Seek professional psychiatry if the problem persists, and
D. Write your vet a big fat check with an apology letter.

Your horse is fine; now go away.

Tags: annoying, equestrian, equine, horse, hypochondriac, warmblood

Posted in horse people | 3 Comments »

Dressage Queens

Dressage queens look for any excuse not to ride

Now, there are a lot of snobs out there. The hunter/jumper world is full of these snobs; people who wear a horse more than ride a horse; it’s the image, the status, the gobs of money everyone knows you have (or at least spend) on one of your bigger accessories, the horse.

Dressage Queens definitely stand alone in their ability to be not only the most obnoxious of all “horse” people, but also the most annoying, egotistical, and often inadequate said “horse” people I have ever dealt with.

My definition of a dressage queen: A woman who owns a horse, usually a nice horse, that is too much horse for her, she has every accessory known to riding, and has every excuse, besides her inability to ride, for why her horse is not going well.

How to determine if your barn has a dressage queen:

When you show up to a barn and there is a loud voice, this is your first clue that you might be approaching a dressage queen. Once you get closer to that loud voice, look for manicured nails, the second sign of a dressage queen. Don’t listen to what the voice is saying, you might get sucked into an hour long conversation you never intended on being a part of, the third sign of a dressage queen. Look for the tack trunk the loud voice is going to, if it is filled with every color pad, matching polo wraps, at least 10 different brow bands, or basically a well stocked tack shop, that is your fourth sign of a dressage queen.

Excuses and drama are a fifth and final guaranteed sign of a dressage queen.

Next, see if she rides; you will find that if she does mount her horse, it won’t be long before she’ll screech with terror about her horse’s terrible “problem” usually associated with not moving off her seat, her leg, not being round, not coming through from behind - none of which is rider error (of course), always a problem with a) the footing b) the farrier c) the vet d) the trainer e) the turnout. Excuses and drama are a fifth and final guaranteed sign of a dressage queen.

There is no way to deal with a dressage queen. You cannot claim to speak Spanish; she knows Spanish so she can scream at the help. German won’t work either; she may have even learned so she can schmooze with the German dressage clinicians. Pretending to suddenly become deaf will not shut her up; she doesn’t actually need anyone to be listening for a reason to talk. Sympathizing with the dressage queen will only make her worse and she will end up misconstruing anything you say and spread some gossip about you throughout the entire area horse world. You can’t complain about her, even though most everyone else hates her, she probably pays more than anyone else in the barn, so she’s not getting kicked out. You basically either have to shut up and keep focused on what you are at the barn to do, or you need to find a different barn.

Don’t be afraid to leave your barn. If a dressage queen has infected your barn, know there is a barn free of evil (you might have to look VERY hard). There is no other escape but to leave. You and your horse will be better off.

Tags: dressage, equestrian, equine, horse, warmblood

Posted in horse people | 9 Comments »