Ask Frankie: Saddle Pads, Horse Worth, & Riding Cows Like Horses



Why Doesn’t My Horse Like Saddle Pads?

Name: Linda
Location: Midwest
Horse: Thoroughbred
Discipline: Hunter/Jumper
Rider Age: 36

Frankie, I’m desperate for your advice. My mare, a 9 year old Thoroughbred is driving me insane. She doesn’t like any saddle pad I put on her. She immediately swishes her tail and pins her ears every time I go to put one on her. She doesn’t do this with sheets or blankets, just the saddle pad. My trainer had me go buy a really expensive sheepskin pad. I spent almost $200 on that pad and she moved her butt in my direction when I approached with it. A warning after spending $200! What kind of pad do you like? Thanks Frankie!

Frankie Sez:
Frankie Holsteiner Ask Wow Linda, the Frank is speechless.

Okay well, maybe the Frank ain’t speechless, but I did have to sit back in the shavings a minute before responding. See the Frank, like his lady, sometimes talks before thinkin’. This can get a horse into trouble. You know like askin’ a lady when she’s due only to find out she ain’t pregnant.

So the Frank composed his answer before jumpin’ the gun and sayin’ somethin’ offensive like “Your trainer is as dumb as an amish cart horse.” But instead, I will use more better equid communique. I will say instead. “Hey Linda, maybe you should ask your trainer what are some common signs of a horse being sour to the saddle? Eh?”

Us equids get real tired of you bipeds assumin’ we need some expensive pad, boot, cream, or supplement when really all we need is for you to listen to what we are saying.

Your poor horse don’t want the saddle on. She is trying to tell you something is wrong. Maybe that something is you, I can’t say. If she’s pretty, give me her number and I’ll give her a ring and find out. But buying them pads to fix a problem is as good as callin’ your local insurance company and askin’ when you’ll get in an accident next. knowhatimean?

Kristine Sez:
Frankie is right, your horse is trying to tell you something. Start with physical ailments then move to behavior/psychological issues.
Ask Frankie anything. He’s friendly, but he might bite. >>>

Is This Horse Worth $50,000?

Name: Ben
Location: Utah
Horse: Pony named Skittles
Discipline: jumping
Rider Age: 8

I’m glad I found you, I posted on some other sites but didn’t get satisfactory answers, so I thought I’d go straight to the horse’s mouth. (funny). My eight year old daughter has been riding for a year, lessons once a week. She loves it; I would like to get her a pony some day, but currently she is leasing a small pony named Skittles. My daughter loves this pony, but we can’t afford her. They are asking $50,000. Instead of outright purchase, they said we could do a lease for the horse shows, but they want $20,000 for a year. My daughter isn’t even cantering yet. Is this a normal price?

Frankie Sez:
Frankie Holsteiner Ask First things first, Ben. I’m a horse, not an ignoramus. I know a joke when I read one. Your play on words there, with the horses mouth, was an attempt at a joke, not an actual joke. So the Frank smells desperation with your request for a laugh which the Frank did not do.

The Frank assumes Ben drives a nice car, dresses well, and wears a nice shiny watch. That helps with determining prices. Back when the lady kept this fine equid in the nicer facilities—with the ribbons and the fancy grooms—I heard a lot of negotiating over horse prices. And let the Frank tell you somethin': the math don’t add up.

But I’m a horse, what do I know about it?

Skittles is a good name, BTW. The Frank prices the Skittles at $500.

Kristine Sez:
While $500 is probably an inaccurate price, I can guarantee $50,000 is as well.
Ask Frankie anything. He’s friendly, but he might bite. >>>

Do Real Cowboys Ride…Cows?

Name: Rick
Location: NY
Horse: heifer
Discipline: cowboy
Rider Age: who wants to know?

Frankie, the wife frequents your site. Says you’re cute. I can’t tell; you just like like all the other brown horses to me. But she rides the two horses we keep on our property. Jumps over small poles, takes lessons sometimes at a barn not too far away. Well, we rescued a cow about six months ago. A real sweetheart. Turns out she likes me a lot. So a few weeks ago, I was out petting on her, and I found myself attempting to sit on her back. My wife didn’t see it and didn’t believe me when I told her. So I displayed my cowboy talents yesterday, and we walked around and trotted a little even. So, can I ride a cow like a horse? My wife said no. But I’m leaning yes.

Frankie Sez:
Frankie Holsteiner AskThe Frank thinks maybe Rick could have done a little better job butterin’ me up. The Frank looks nothin’ like all the other brown horses. Have you noticed my eyes? What about the Frank’s beautiful long face? Then there’s the mane and tail; the Frank’s got nice accessories. Also Rick, I would like to mention my neck. The lady points this feature of mine out to everyone. I’ve got a very, very unique neck. The Frank is also big. So now you should be able to tell that I am nothing like brown horses; I am only like the Frank.

Unfortunately, I don’t have time to answer your question since I had to spend most of my time explaining my good looks. But should you/could you ride that cow of yours? The Frank says “Why not?” I mean, you’re probably just like all the other guys out there. Can’t tell you apart. The lady says none of ‘em listen.

Kristine Sez:
Yes you can, but I wouldn’t use a horse saddle.

Have a Horse, Human, or Humorous Question for Frankie?

Ask Frankie anything. He’s friendly, but he might bite. >>>